Fanfic: Angels In The Outfield (1/1)

[smokingmirror]

Title: Angels In The Outfield
Author: Avarice
Rating: G
Pairing: Angel/Buffy
Spoilers: I Will Remember You
Summary: Two like-minded souls meet for a bit of a chat. x-over with movie City of Angels.
Word Count: 1703
Date First Posted: -
Date Revised - 10-05-2011
Beta: -
Awards: -
Notes: Improv fic - vanilla, ocean, cotton, sympathy. I always liked the parallels between Seth and Angel, particularly Angel circa season 1.
Feedback: always welcome, as is constructive criticism.

 

 

 

The air was cool, but it didn't affect the figure standing on the roof of the building. Wind whipped at the long black coat, making it billow out beside him. His silhouette blocked out a portion of the night sky, framing his figure with celestial radiance. Moonlight shone off perfect skin, and reflected in deep eyes.

The dark-haired man's face looked impassively over the other ocean of lights that was Los Angeles at night -- with all its noise and life. It was magnificent and horrible all at once.

He sensed rather than heard the one coming to join him. The approaching figure made nary a sound. A benefit of being who he was, was the ability to detect an approach long before other senses picked it up.

At length, this new arrival spoke.

"Do you make a habit of standing on other people's roofs?"

"Yes."

Angel was taken aback slightly. He had been on his way to the roof to spend some time when he had felt a presence. It wasn't something that rang alarm bells inside his head. Rather, it made the skin of his arms tingle as if hundreds of ants were running up and down them.

The vampire had reached the roof to find a man dressed similarly to him, standing in his favourite spot, looking out over the city.

For one brief moment, Angel felt as if he was looking at himself, but shook away the thought.

Not feeling any dangerous vibe from the stranger, Angel walked up to stand a comfortable distance away from him and look out at the landscape.

"My name is Seth," the man said after many silent moments had passed. His voice was so soft that the vampire barely heard it over the noise of the traffic. He also had to contain his surprise at the unexpected answer to the question that had been on his lips.

"Angel," Angel offered in return.

Seth turned to him, lips curling up in a smile that was at once cryptic and beatific.

"I know."

Seth had a face that Angel normally would call fairly attractive, with a high forehead, straight nose and large, fathomless blue eyes, yet there was something about it... an ethereal, otherworldly quality. He couldn't place it. It somehow didn't belong in this world of noise and pain and living. It transcended those things. It was better.

Despite this, the vampire didn't feel uneasy. Rather, he felt oddly comfortable with Seth's stance, his face, his voice. The vampire struggled to think of a word to describe him appropriately.

Perfect sprung to mind immediately.

"I assure you, that I am not. Especially now."

This was enough to shake Angel out of his relaxed attitude. He shifted his legs further apart and into a casual fighting stance. "Nice trick. Who are you?"

"Seth," Seth answered bemusedly. Angel narrowed his eyes.

"Okay, what are you? Demon? Possessed human? Telepathic?"

"Do you know Angel means 'messenger'?"

The vampire raised his eyebrow at the question. The man looked back out to the city.

"Many years ago, before men actually had surnames as we know them today, people used to give themselves second names by physical attributes, lineage, or occupation to reduce confusion. The man who had a rich-coloured beard in Germany became Goldbart. The son of a man named Fergus in Scotland became Ferguson. The bread-maker of a village in England became Baker."

Seth turned towards him. "Your name, Angel, bears your responsibility. You are a messenger for that which watches over this world, endeavouring to protect it. But would it ever work the other way around, do you think? Could this occupation influence what you are?"

The vampire frowned. "What are you getting at?"

Seth smiled, but it was not mocking or patronising. "Could a Baker automatically be a breadmaker?"

"No. You just said this naming was a standard of times gone past."

"True. But taking the line of thought I have offered you into account, if I told you I am a messenger, what would that make me?"

"That would make you an a-"

Suddenly, everything made sense.

Angel stood up straight and dropped his hands to his sides. Funnily enough, he couldn't find the conviction to refute the man's claim, and mentally shrugged. Stranger things have happened. "The Powers That Be sent you?"

Seth gave a small smile. "I believe that is what forces beyond your control are known to you as... but I was not sent by them on this occasion."

The dark haired vampire's brow furrowed further. "Then why are you here?"

"I..." Seth's face lost its benevolent edge and turned thoughtful, "want to ask you something."

Angel raised both eyebrows and settled himself against the ledge, feeling decidedly more comfortable in the presence of a divine messenger if it didn't involve him being imparted with some terrible news.

"Please, go ahead," he prompted, seeing Seth's slight reluctance.

"I... I understand you love someone. A human." Seth cringed in sympathy as Angel reflexively stiffened, pain flashing over his face. At length, the vampire relaxed again.

"Go on."

Seth seemed discouraged by Angel's response, but continued. "You were able to... love her," he stated.

"Yes," Angel replied, his voice low.

"Tell me," he turned towards the vampire, words filled with a curious hopefulness, "Was it worth it?"

Angel let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Don't mess around with small questions, do you?" Seth smiled faintly as the vampire mulled over the proposition. "Was it worth it... Do you want the short or the long version?"

"Both would be helpful."

Sighing, Angel leant back on his elbows and talked. "The short answer is yes. Nothing in my existence was as beautiful as that moment, and I will always cherish it."

"And the long answer?" Seth prompted when Angel remained silent.

"The long answer is basically the same, with a bit more guilt and self-loathing." He actually managed a self-deprecating smile.

"Ahh," the seraph nodded knowingly. Another moment of silence passed between them, but was broken again by Seth. "Knowing that which you do now about your situation... would you do it again? Would you sacrifice those who succumbed to the demon?"

Angel took a long moment considering his answer. At length he replied, "Not a day goes by that I don't pray that the souls Angelus took find peace. I hate what I was, and what I became. But I can't hate how she made me feel, or the pleasure I got from being a part of her life.

"One thing I've learnt is that mortal's lives can be cut short as easily as cotton thread..." Angel turned to Seth. "It is selfish but I will never be sorry for the time I spent with her."

Angel continued in a low voice that occasionally hitched with emotion. "Being human and loving her was an experience that, while all too short, was the greatest gift I have ever received. It hurt so much to give her up, but being with her came at too high a price -- which she would pay -- and I couldn't allow that. As a human, I was given the chance to, for the first time in many years, exercise free will." He looked back out to the city. "I didn't know I couldn't be with her and keep her alive... the choice is made. I would rather see her alive and happy with someone else, than die because of my selfish nature."

"And what of your selfish nature that does not feel sorry for being with her, even though the result cost many lives?"

The vampire frowned. "I don’t regret the act, but the unseen repercussions. And although it was by no means the best way to find out about the true nature of my curse, I now know my limitations."

"And do you feel that this is unfair, and you are deserving of her?"

"I am what she wants, but not what she needs right now. The same can be said in relation to me. It’s too dangerous for either of us right now, there’s much at stake and many battles we are both needed to fight." Angel massaged his temple. "With the curse, I... I just can't. Maybe one day... but that day is not today."

Seth watched the play of emotions across Angel's face. Anger, resignation, longing, and the smallest amount of hope.

"In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it," Seth quoted.

"Oscar Wilde."

Seth nodded. "I like to read." They both turned out to look at the city once again.

Angel studied Seth's profile for a moment. "Is that the answer you were looking for?"

"It is an answer," came the simple reply. He murmured something to himself that Angel thought was "In this world, but not of this world," but Seth's voice was too soft to be sure.

After many more minutes of quiet contemplation of the landscape which night had begun to relinquish, Seth stepped back from the ledge. "I must go. It is time for the sun to rise."

Angel sighed softly at the thought of the warmth tickling his skin. He turned to his strange companion, seeing so much of himself mirrored back, even though he wasn't exactly sure how that was possible. I'm a demon, he's an a- he's what he is... why would I see myself in him?

"We have more in common than you would probably believe, my friend."

Unsure of how to answer, Angel just nodded. Seth moved to leave, but paused.

"I have another question."

"Yeess?" came the wary reply.

Seth leaned in close, locking eyes with Angel. "What did her hair smell like?"

Angel's eyes grew dreamy and unfocused. "Vanilla."

When he sharpened his gaze once again, Seth was gone. The only remnant of him was a low laughter on the breeze.

The vampire stayed a moment longer at the ledge. "In this world but not of this world," he murmured, staying to stare at the pink of pre-dawn as long as possible. Sighing again, he turned as the first rays of sun touching his retreating coattails.

~finis