100 Original Fics: 020: Shattered (1/1)

[smokingmirror]

Title: Shattered
Series: 100 Original Fics
Character: Fox Maharassa
Author: Avarice
Prompt: 020 - Colourless
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fox/Dinah, Fox/Collin
Spoilers: pre-BMB and FH
Summary: Bad news can break you.
Word Count: 902
Date First Posted: 19-10-2003
Date Revised: 31-05-2011
Beta: Tink.
Awards: -
Notes: Fox always carried a lot guilt over not being home when Collin called him, and the way he treated Collin after this incident spelled the beginning of the end of his relationship with Dinah. The idea that his best friend could go through something like this without him really shook Fox to the very core. I'd always planned to write more about this period of time... maybe I will get to do that now :).
Feedback: always welcome, as is constructive criticism.
Also Archived At: LJ

Fox opened the door to his house, whistling a jaunty tune. A smile still curled the corners of his lips, right where Dinah had kissed him goodbye. It had been a good date.

The house seemed silent. Fox raised an eyebrow, depositing his keys on a nearby table, looking curiously into the next room. Just as he was about to yell out, his mother came out of the family room, scaring him half to death.

Fox did a funny little backward step, much the same as his father performed when startled.

"I didn't think anyone was home," he tapped his chest above his heart. "Could give a guy a heart attack, Ma."

There was something odd in the way she looked at him, in the way she presented herself. Nefertari's hands were tightly clasped in front of her, knuckles pale. Her face was unusually grave, mouth set in a line, eyes sad.

Fox was instantly on alert, his first instinct concern for his family. "Mom, what's wrong? Is Dad--"

Nefertari held up her hands quickly. "No, Fox-kit, he's fine."

Fox wondered why that assurance didn't make him feel any better. "So, what's up?" he tried to affect a casual air in the attempt to keep cool.

"Kailen," Neferari said, unsure of how to begin. "I spoke with Mr Sri'Vastra on the phone earlier." If she didn't have his undivided attention before, she did now. All she could do for him is break the news to him gently. "Collin is in hospital." Her eyelids fluttered down briefly, before meeting the bleak blue gaze of her son.

The next words sounded to Fox as though they came from very far away.

"It seems he tried to... hurt himself."

The room temperature suddenly changed; or at least, that’s what it felt like to Fox. The air must have gotten a lot hotter, because blood was like ice in his veins. He had to shut his eyes for a moment, as the world wouldn't stop spinning in a blur of sickening colour. Blue, green, orange, yellow, brown.

"I--" he began and then stopped. What could he say that could possibly start with the word 'I'? Fox squeezed the bridge of his nose. It hurt. His nose, his head, his eyes, his chest. Everything hurt. When his eyes were able to focus, Nefertari looked more worried than before, taking a step towards him.

"I don't... understand." Fox ran a hand through his hair. Nefertari noticed it trembled. He clutched both hands to keep them still after that. A laugh, sharp and on the edge of hysteria, left his throat. "What do you mean?" There was a wide, fragile smile on his face.

Nefertari winced, seemingly unwilling to extrapolate. She was unsure whether he could handle more information.

"He couldn't tell me much, but... " She hesitated briefly, but Fox was waiting for her to finish. "They found him in the bathtub..."

Fox sucked in a breath. It wasn't a gasp, more like a desperate bid for air. Nefertari knew that he had known what she meant the first time. He'd just not wanted to believe.

It was funny that even with dark skin, the colour and life could drain out of it so quickly. It left Fox looking wan and decidedly grey. All the saliva in his mouth dried up, leaving it tasting like ash. The pain behind his eyes crescendoed agonisingly, but was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. It constricted so tightly he wondered briefly if he was having that heart attack.

"Would we...." he started, licking his parched lips. "Can we go and see him?" Fox didn't recognise his own voice, it sounded so small.

Nefertari gazed empathetically at him. "Of course we can." She reached her arms out to him, as he swayed dangerously. It was enough. His hands and arms linked with hers, but even she wasn't able to stop his knees coming into bone-juddering contact with the ground as he fell.

Fox Maharassa buried his face in the fabric of his mother's dress and sobbed. Each was torn from his body with bitter force, each breath a fight for oxygen. It was so hard to breathe... He wrapped his arms around her waist, and felt a hand in his hair, stroking it.

The noise that came from his hoarse and dry throat was plaintive and grief-stricken. There was no echo within the house; there was just that noise, raw and undiluted. The back of his throat burned, and his eyes stung, but the other pain -- the really bad stuff -- was still there.

His shoulders shook once, twice, three times more, before they stilled. Fox's grip on his mother loosened, but he did not rise. Could not rise. Nefertari tilted her son's tear-stained and pale face up and bent to kiss his forehead. Fox's eyes slipped shut, eyelashes dark and pointed with moisture.

After giving him a moment's respite, she helped his unresponsive self to his feet. Once she was sure that he could stand at least for a moment on his own, she walked a few steps away to take the keys he had discarded earlier.

She returned to his side and hooked her arm protectively in his, rubbing the side of his hand. "I'll drive," Nefertari said. Fox's feet shuffled forward with little coaxing, the tear tracks still visible on his cheeks.

~finis