Title: Square Peg, Round Hole
Series: 100 Original Fics
Character: Fox Maharassa
Prompt: 033 - Too Much
Summary: Collin has to defuse another fight.
Word Count: 849
Date First Posted: 24-05-2009
Date Revised: 02-06-2011
Notes: Complete and utter crack that would never, ever happen, written approx 2005.
Feedback: always welcome, as is constructive criticism.
Also Archived At: LJ
Collin heard the noise the moment he walked in. Someone was watching television, only loud. Very loud. He took a quick glance at the door, there were two sets of shoes there, a satchel and a backpack.
"Oh no. Not again."
With some trepidation, he walked from the door to the small living area in the next room and poked his head around the doorjamb.
Arath sat at his desk, half-buried under reams of papers. His glasses had slipped down his nose, and he had one pencil behind his ear. He scribbled a few things down in a book before gripping his pen tightly.
"If you don't turn that off," he said in a tight voice, "that remote will be lodged so far up your ass you'll spit out batteries."
Collin's eyes flicked to the foldout sofa. Fox was stretched out on it, ankles folded, left arm behind his head. The right rested on the mattress, hand clasping the aforementioned remote. Fox didn't even look across at the other man. The only part of him that moved was his thumb on the black device, and the noise got louder.
Collin nearly heard Arath's teeth grind over the sound of the tv's jubilant crowd. He entered the room and dropped his bag with as loud a thump as he could manage. Two heads snapped around to see him.
"Hey, Boss," Fox greeted cheerfully, hitting the 'mute' button.
"Oh thank you, Set," Arath muttered.
"Why," Collin asked slowly, "were my eardrums nearly bleeding?"
"You have Von Willebrand's disease?" Fox asked curiously.
"Your best friend is a dumbass?" Arath spat. Fox took the time to glare at him.
Collin walked into the room, kicking off his shoes as he went. "Firstly, I'm not a Dobermann," he directed the answer to Fox, wandering to the small table next to the arm of the sofa and stealing the half-finished soda on it. "Secondly? Sometimes. I've gotten used to it." Arath smirked and Fox looked annoyed. "I love him anyway." It was quite fascinating how beautifully Arath and Fox swapped expressions.
The blond put his hands on his hips. "Just so you're aware? I'm not playing the game with you two. I won't side with one over the other."
"Well, that's not fair," Fox sat up more on the bed, "I was here first."
"And I'm smarter," Arath put in. "What's your point?"
"Enough." Collin massaged his temples. "I swear, if you weren't both so fucking hot, this'd be hardly worth the migraines."
Even in the midst of the squabbling, Fox and Arath both took a moment to have their vanity appealed to. It didn't last long.
"Really," Fox began tentatively, "I was here first. And this is my tv, and--"
"You're in my house and pissing about that being your tv? Are you sure Collin didn't pick you up at the testing laboratory's open day?"
"STOP," Collin yelled, his face pale. Arath took the pencil out from behind his ear, and Fox folded his arms across his chest. They were both mercifully silent.
Collin sat down on the edge of the bed. The room was awfully quiet.
"What are you watching?" he asked Fox presently.
"Mexican wrestling," Fox replied, watching the flickering lights.
"I like Mexican wrestling," Collin said cautiously. Fox drew his eyes away from the tv and looked at his best friend. After only a moment, he held his right arm out in invitation.
Mid-crawl, Collin stopped himself. He looked up at Arath. "How long have you been working?"
"About five hours," came Arath's reply.
"Shit. It's time you took a break anyway." Collin crawled the rest of the way into Fox's arms and looked pleadingly to Arath.
Arath glared at them both for a moment before he sighed, defeated. He walked quite deliberately around the other side of the bed to climb on next to Collin. Collin grabbed Arath's hand and held it tightly against his chest. Fox hit the 'mute' button, and graciously turned down the deafening volume.
"Have you ever seen Mexican wrestling?" Collin asked without tearing his eyes away from the screen.
"No, I'm more of a Masterpiece Theatre guy," Arath deadpanned. A muffled snort came from Fox that he quickly quelled as an elbow lodged itself in his ribs.
"It's fun," Collin supplied. "A bit mindless, but fun."
Arath nuzzled behind Collin's ear. "Now that was too easy."
Fox cleared his throat loudly. "Ladies, please. Match on."
"Do I look like I wear a skirt?" Arath muttered.
Fox flicked a glance down to Collin, who caught it and flushed red. "No more," Collin announced, kissing Fox to shut him up. "From you, either," he told Arath who'd opened his mouth to say something and received a kiss instead.
Collin burrowed into the mattress, feeling the solid warmth of Arath behind him and Fox beneath him, proud for having averted another bloodbath.