Fanfic: Promises, Promises (The Odd Couple Series 6/7)

[smokingmirror]

Title: Promises, Promises
Series: The Odd Couple 6/7
Author: Avarice
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Spoilers: -
Summary: Angel tries cajoling Spike into doing something he doesn't want to do.
Word Count: 601
Date First Posted: 2000
Date Revised - 13-05-2011
Beta: -
Awards: -
Notes: Bordering on good taste, I suspect. Also getting a little more suggestive.
Feedback: always welcome, as is constructive criticism.





SPIKE: Uh-uh.
ANGEL: (cajoling) Oh come on...
SPIKE: No.
ANGEL: No?
SPIKE: (vehemently) No.
ANGEL: That seems a bit harsh...
SPIKE: Well deal with it, Peaches. I'm not doing it.
ANGEL: Why not?
SPIKE: Because I said!
ANGEL: You ate it last time...
SPIKE: And after last time you promised I'd never have to do it again!
ANGEL: ...and seemed to enjoy it.
SPIKE: Don't. Just don't go there.
ANGEL: Why not?
SPIKE: You promised me you'd never ask again.
ANGEL: (innocently) I never promised.
SPIKE: (pointing accusingly) You sure as hell did, poofter. I'm not going to let your greasy gelhead slip out of this one.
ANGEL: (offended) Greasy?!
SPIKE: Yeh. Get over it. And get over this notion that I'm going to eat this lumpy, cold-
ANGEL: It is not lumpy.
SPIKE: (waving his arms around excitedly) Newsflash, Angel! It's lumpier than four day old porridge.
ANGEL: It's meant to be like that.
SPIKE: Probably got chunks of god knows what in it.
ANGEL: Are you disparaging the quality?
SPIKE: Yes.
ANGEL: (sighs) I don't know why you're making such a fuss.
SPIKE: It's also too sloppy.
ANGEL: What?
SPIKE: It is!
ANGEL: (raises an eyebrow) How can it possibly be lumpy and sloppy at the same time?
SPIKE: I don't know, but you've found a way.
ANGEL: Why are you giving me such a hard time?
SPIKE: Because it's easy. Look, it's white, and sloppy... and lumpy. I have no idea how you managed that. And worst of all, it's in a bowl!
ANGEL: Why is that so bad?"
SPIKE: A bowl, Angelus! If I even considered for a moment eating this -- which I'm not, by the way -- I'd never eat it out of an effin' bowl!
ANGEL: (hands on hips) Look, I don't see your problem.
SPIKE: Of course you don't! You're perverse! You don't have me coming up to you, sticking this disgusting white shit under yer nose and saying 'eat it', do you?
ANGEL: (slight smirk) I seem to recall th-
SPIKE: Shut up. That was different.
ANGEL: All I'm saying is; you seemed to enjoy it last time.
SPIKE: I was also lickin' it off your bare chest. That kinda makes a difference.
ANGEL: Why Spike, I didn't know you cared.
SPIKE: Fuck off.
ANGEL: Okay, so I make some especially for you, it's in a bowl... now why won't you eat it?
SPIKE: Because it's more a spur of the moment kind of thing! If you ask me to do it directly, I-
ANGEL: -have trouble performing?
SPIKE: Oi!
ANGEL: It's no shame to have performance anxiety... well, there is, but-
SPIKE: Shuddup! I don't care what you say, I'm not being forced to eat that!
ANGEL: (huffily) No one's forcing you...
SPIKE: (jabs a finger at Angel) But you are!
ANGEL: (in a serious tone) If I were forcing you, boy, you'd know about it.
SPIKE: Look, I really don't enjoy it as much as you think. I only even contemplated swallowing it those times to please you. Plus, it tastes funny.
ANGEL: (moves to leave) Right, I've had enough. Do what you like.
SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Angel's arm) Hey! (gestures to a bowl on the kitchen table) Just because I don't want to eat the yoghurt, doesn't mean I don't need my daily intake of cheap white carbohydrates... (grins lecherously)
ANGEL: (sighs to hide his grin, and begins walking to the bedroom) Why do I keep you around again?
SPIKE: Three words, pet: No gag reflex.
(Angel laughs and he and Spike vanish into the bedroom)

~finis